And now these three remain: Faith, Hope, and Love. But the greatest of these is Love. 

1st Corinthians [13:13] 

Within Catholic theology, there are three theological virtues; Faith, Hope, and Love. These virtues are considered divine and are gifts freely bestowed upon all of us through the grace of God. I recently discussed these three virtues with a Catholic friend and their impact on our perspective on life. He informed me that for Catholics, these three are holy virtues. Thus, sending me to research how and why these three virtues are considered sacred.

As a Methodist most of my adult life, this might seem odd to my fellow Methodists to study Catholicism. However, It really isn’t; as Methodists, one of our fundamental tenets is to explore God all we can. So with that thought in mind, I wanted to learn more.  

It seems that Thomas Aquinas developed this thought, using 1 Corinthians [13:13], where it says, And now these three remain: Faith, Hope, and Love. But the greatest of these is Love. Aquinas explains that these three theological virtues are infused in us by God. Further, we come to know these virtues through our interactions with God. In effect, our choice to activate these virtues puts us in concert with God. 

It seems to me that a life without Faith, Hope, and Love would be a dark and dreary existence. A life of depression without any sunrise on the horizon and the absence of Jesus. Yet, I know people who lead this life. They are not entirely devoid of these three qualities; instead, they tend to see darkness and not light. For some, this perspective is a habit. For others, it was caused by an underlying set of events that causes sustained grief. And even sometimes caused by their environment.  

While not all causes of leading a dreary life can be remedied without outside help, most can. Simply choosing to redirect our thinking to Jesus and these God-given virtues will fix and help our perspective on life.  

For instance, Faith is belief in the unseen. We completely surrender ourselves to following Jesus, even when it’s not explicitly apparent our faith will help. A mindset of not being overly pragmatic about outcomes and changing our perspective from knowing tangibly and precisely what the future holds to being reassured that somehow Jesus is involved.  

Hope is simply knowing good will occur because Jesus exists in our lives. The opposite of Hope is despair. A state where nothing seems to go right. Like Faith, Hope is also a matter of perspective. We can choose to follow the course of hopelessness or believe the valley we are in will eventually end. Many times difficult trials are periods of divine preparation. A time of our growing and becoming prepared for our next challenge. The more we meet these challenges, the greater our growth. In turn, we don’t see the valleys of life despondently but as opportunities to rise up through a hopeful perspective.  

The Apostle Paul declares the greatest of the three virtues is Love. Love is a choice we make, and all have the capacity to love through the grace of God. When we do things without Love, we miss opportunities to lift up other people. Our acts, while honorable, have less value. Love is an act of giving without the desire for a reward: a conscious act to desire a benefit for the other person. Any action done with love is aligned with Jesus.  

Perspective is a matter of our free will. We all can choose to embrace, Faith, Hope, and Love. When we do, we open our hearts to Jesus and activate these three gifts from God. Instead of thorns, we will see roses. Life will become lighter. For some, this is a mighty challenge because of life circumstances. But for most of us, it is simply a matter of redirecting our thoughts to see good and trust Jesus. 

Love your neighbor as yourself 

Matthew [22:39] 

In an age where pronouns are hotly debated and discussed, the pronoun WE seldom comes up. Yet in our lives and especially our business lives, WE is most important. Almost everything we do in business and life is related to combining our efforts with someone else, whether a customer, friend, co-worker, subordinate, or supervisor.  

Every effort in these exchanges requires a sense of goodwill towards those with whom we work. Goodwill towards the other person we associate with is a vital part of being successful. However, goodwill is also a surrendering of our individual needs to a team effort of accomplishment—surrendering what we want to a combined effort of collaboration of team goals.  

While we may accomplish something by ourselves or dictate the actions to someone else, our efforts will always be less without the genuine commitment from and to those with whom we work.  

I have a friend with whom I work, named Bill, who consistently demonstrates this attitude. When we work together, he is very concerned about doing his part. For example, recently, we collaborated on editing and preparing my next book. Bill was apprehensive about making sure he knew my deadlines and what his requirements were.  

As I laid out our goals, Bill added action steps that would make a better product. Not pushy or insistent, constantly probing to look for a better way. When Bill was sure he had the project understood and the timelines right, he agreed to proceed. I knew he would hit his timeline from working with Bill in the past, and the results would be far better than I expected.  

Bill called a few days before the deadline and asked if we were still on track to meet to discuss his work. The day before our meeting, Bill sent me his work to review. When I reviewed the material Bill sent, I was elated. Not only had he achieved what was expected, but many other things were also added that made the project so much better than if I had done the work myself. I remember sitting at my desk, amazed at what Bill had done.  

Later, when we met, Bill laid out how he accomplished his task. Telling me, he had found a person who was better than him at consolidating words, which made the book more concise and readable. He relayed how he had spent a few nights checking references and citations to make sure they were accurate. A process typically done when the project was completed. In our conversation, I could actually feel his total commitment to living up to his personal standards.  

Bill had complied with all the standards required by the pronoun WE. Working with Bill is always refreshing because he adds value and makes projects far better than what I usually envisioned. Bill’s commitment to WE inspires me to do the same with him. His commitment to WE sets a standard for whom and how I work with other people. 

Bill is a very committed Christian, and long ago, he surrendered to Jesus. Knowing all that he accomplished was through the grace of Christ. In turn, this surrendering moved himself from to WE. And there are few Bible verses more important to Bill than love your neighbor as thyself. In all of Bill’s work and our relationship, he exhibits this trait.  

Bill lives this commandment not only as his duty but through his heart. We all know these people in our lives. When something needs to get done, they are always early in showing up. They add value in surprising ways. They surrender their needs for the overall good, and their reward is only with a job well done.  

It seems to me, we need more Bill’s in our business and personal lives. In a time of discussion about pronouns and which are best, I think we would all be better at what we do if We were our first thought. Try it out with your next engagement and watch the results become better than what we thought.  

“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companions of fools suffer harm.”

– Proverbs [13:20]

OLD, BUT WISE FRIENDS

I met Tony Marone very early in my career. While only a year older than me, he possessed the wisdom of someone decades older. At the company where we worked, he was considered a rock star and was often promoted by leadership. Everybody liked Tony, myself included. I worked hard to gain his friendship and over time we became very good friends.

At a casual lunch, I once told him how impressed I was by the fact he had so many people that liked and respected him. He stunned me by replying, “Bruce, I have a lot of acquaintances, but few friends.” I was quick to refute, “It’s not true, everyone wants to know you.” He went on to explain, “Sure they do, but as soon as a cold wind blows most will be gone. If you can count on one hand the friends who will be with you in tough times and give you honest advice, consider yourself lucky.”

Tony’s words seemed dire. I was still young and impressionable. I thought to myself, How can this be true?

Tony was a street wise Catholic from a tough neighborhood. Most of what he got in life he earned on his own. He didn’t go to a top college or have great mentors. His lessons came directly from the streets of New York City. He learned how to survive in a tough environment, quickly figuring out who to trust and who not to trust. He also learned how to influence others. He was always positive and avoided making enemies. But most importantly, he learned to sift through advice and only follow the words of wise people.

 

THE BOOK OF PROVERBS

The book of Proverbs is one of the “Wisdom Books” in the Bible. It contains the words of advice that God wants us to hear. The thirty-one chapters take only an hour or so to read and are void of long discourses and extensive theology. They contain simple lessons with simple words. Proverbs [13:20] is an example of the practical lessons hidden away in this Old Testament book.

Eventually, we all learn to better discern between the ill-advised and wise counsel we receive. When we need counsel from a wise friend like Tony, we can look to Proverbs. When we read the verses openly and have a desire to learn, they become our friend and trusted advisor. Memorizing Bible verses allows the words to become our anchor during life’s most ferocious winds.

 

“Memorizing Bible verses allows the words to become our anchor during life’s most ferocious winds.”

 

ADVICE FROM AN OLD AND WISE FRIEND WHO CARED

Tony went on to have a successful life. He became a CEO of a regional retailer and later started his own business. When the cold November winds of my life blew, I could always call Tony to get his kind and honest advice. It was not always what I hoped to hear; but it was always what I needed to hear.

I learned what Tony meant about good friends as my life unfolded. I would get a lot of advice—some was well-intentioned but lacked candor. Others advice was self-serving and not in my best interest. Then there was other advice that was simply off the mark completely. Tony was a wise friend, whose counsel always demonstrated that he cared about my well-being. I miss Tony, he died a few years ago. But I will always remember his words.

 

Blessings, until next time,
Bruce L. Hartman

 


PARTING THOUGHTS

How do we know whether a person’s advice is good?

How often do we read the wisdom book called Proverbs?

How many friends do we have that will tell us the truth?

More importantly, who can consider us as among that list – their wise friend, the ‘Tony’ of their life?

 

 

“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companions of fools suffer harm.”

– Proverbs [13:20]

 

OLD, BUT WISE FRIENDS

I met Tony Marone very early in my career. While only a year older than me, he possessed the wisdom of someone decades older. At the company where we worked, he was considered a rock star and was often promoted by leadership. Everybody liked Tony, myself included. I worked hard to gain his friendship and over time we became very good friends.

At a casual lunch, I once told him how impressed I was by the fact he had so many people that liked and respected him. He stunned me by replying, “Bruce, I have a lot of acquaintances, but few friends.” I was quick to refute, “It’s not true, everyone wants to know you.” He went on to explain, “Sure they do, but as soon as a cold wind blows most will be gone. If you can count on one hand the friends who will be with you in tough times and give you honest advice, consider yourself lucky.”

Tony’s words seemed dire. I was still young and impressionable. I thought to myself, How can this be true?

Tony was a street wise Catholic from a tough neighborhood. Most of what he got in life he earned on his own. He didn’t go to a top college or have great mentors. His lessons came directly from the streets of New York City. He learned how to survive in a tough environment, quickly figuring out who to trust and who not to trust. He also learned how to influence others. He was always positive and avoided making enemies. But most importantly, he learned to sift through advice and only follow the words of wise people.

 

THE BOOK OF PROVERBS

The book of Proverbs is one of the “Wisdom Books” in the Bible. It contains the words of advice that God wants us to hear. The thirty-one chapters take only an hour or so to read and are void of long discourses and extensive theology. They contain simple lessons with simple words. Proverbs [13:20] is an example of the practical lessons hidden away in this Old Testament book.

Eventually, we all learn to better discern between the ill-advised and wise counsel we receive. When we need counsel from a wise friend like Tony, we can look to Proverbs. When we read the verses openly and have a desire to learn, they become our friend and trusted advisor. Memorizing Bible verses allows the words to become our anchor during life’s most ferocious winds.

 

“Memorizing Bible verses allows the words to become our anchor during life’s most ferocious winds.”

 

ADVICE FROM AN OLD AND WISE FRIEND WHO CARED

Tony went on to have a successful life. He became a CEO of a regional retailer and later started his own business. When the cold November winds of my life blew, I could always call Tony to get his kind and honest advice. It was not always what I hoped to hear; but it was always what I needed to hear.

I learned what Tony meant about good friends as my life unfolded. I would get a lot of advice—some was well-intentioned but lacked candor. Others advice was self-serving and not in my best interest. Then there was other advice that was simply off the mark completely. Tony was a wise friend, whose counsel always demonstrated that he cared about my well-being. I miss Tony, he died a few years ago. But I will always remember his words.

 

Blessings, until next time,
Bruce L. Hartman

 

PARTING THOUGHTS

How do we know whether a person’s advice is good?

How often do we read the wisdom book called Proverbs?

How many friends do we have that will tell us the truth?

More importantly, who can consider us as among that list – their wise friend, the ‘Tony’ of their life?

 

marriage

 

“Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ”

— Ephesians [5:21]

A DAUGHTER’S COMMENT ABOUT MARRIAGE

While on Christmas vacation, in Portland, Oregon, I had just gone out to get my wife her morning wake-up material. It consisted of a large decaf Americano with cold soy, a whole grain bagel with no butter, and the New York Times crossword puzzle. My daughter, who was lying in bed with my wife, said, “Wow. I want this for my marriage.” And there it was, a statement that I had shown my daughter what marriage looked like. A marriage in which I cared about my wife and her needs. I don’t judge my wife that she needs these tools to arise. They are just her. It makes me happy that I can make her happy and help her day. 

“Over time we build a history of repeated positive actions that create a marriage.”

Now, what my daughter doesn’t know is that our marriage is hard work. Being a good husband doesn’t just happen after we say our vows. It is a constant repeating of failure and then success. It is a constant searching for how to be a better husband. Some arrive quicker than others. And some, like myself, take a while to get the point. In marriage we venture around the rooms of a committed relationship. In these rooms we discover revelations, which we then take and try out. Some work and some don’t. Over time we build a history of repeated positive actions that create a marriage. We slip and fall. Through the graciousness of our partner, we get another chance. This process repeats itself every day. We try every day to be a better spouse. 

“In marriage we are subject to one another, because we are in reverence to Christ.”

Paul provides the attitude to help us continue this journey. He says, “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Our actions, when supported by reverence to Jesus, present to our spouse a commitment of behavior as if we were talking with Christ. But also, we act the way we do because we are reverent to Christ. We get the decaf Americano with cold soy because we’d do it if Christ asked. We are gentle, because it is the way we would treat Christ. We spread our coats over puddles, because we would do this for Christ. In marriage we are subject to one another, because we are in reverence to Christ. 

“As Paul recommends, we remain subject to each other and Christ.”

My marriage is easy, because my wife is gracious. My wife leads with love. My wife helps others first. My wife has a deep faith. My wife makes it easy to get her a decaf Americano with cold soy. We bicker. We test each other’s will. We fight for control. We complain about each other’s frailties. But we go to bed each night with a moment of affection.  As Paul recommends, we remain subject to each other and Christ. We wake up each day ready to renew our marriage. I am glad my daughter wants our kind of marriage. 

Blessings, until next time,
Bruce L. Hartman

 

PARTING THOUGHTS

What does reverence to Christ look like in our marriage?

Do we treat our spouse in a way that honors Christ?